Going Back to University

Returning to university since falling sick with a debilitating illness was, at the time, the hardest thing I had ever done.

For the past two years I had been nearly bed-ridden, and yet I was expected to move away from my family who I depended on and kick-start my life all over again. This article is a reflection on what has been the greatest challenge of my life.

In the beginning

In my sophomore year of university, I suffered sever heat stroke while completing a four-mile run on a 104-degree day. Luckily, bystanders were able to notice my dilemma and call for help. After losing consciousness, the next thing I remember was wakening up in a hospital setting. There was a doctor sitting by my bed, and I could hear my mother's voice when she told me how lucky I was to be alive. As it turns out, I was severely dehydrated, and as a consequence my body did not have the ability to adequately regulate its temperature given the extreme heat of the day and the intense physical exercise I had been engaging in. She diagnosed me with heat stroke and rhabdomyolysis - essentially, muscle-eating enzymes in my body were destroying my skeletal muscle at a rapid pace. In order to treat my condition, I had to remain in the hospital for an entire week while they flushed my kidneys with IV fluids. Following my release, it took me several months to recuperate from the physical and emotional consequences of what had happened. Those were the most challenging months of my life.

A little help from my friends

All my life, I had been blessed with physical ability and a thirst for adventure; once, when first learning how to ski, I had scaled the tallest mountain in Breckenridge in the middle of a snow storm and descended through a series of black-diamond trails. Yet, following my medical incident, I was unable to accomplish life's basic tasks without help (i.e., walking the stairs, getting the mail, dressing, etc). I was bed-ridden, and utterly broken. At first, I thought I would be able to tough-up and muscle-through my struggles, but after a series of events were I fell flat on my face (metaphorically and literally), I realized that I would not be able to get through this experience alone. Thus, I withdrew from university and moved back home with my family to receive their care. This experience taught me that life is not meant to be lived alone, for yourself, or by your own power. Without the love and support from my friends and family, I do not know where I would be today. To those who loved me when I was at my worst, thank you. I love you.

Back at it again

After spending nearly two years at home recuperating from all that had happened, it was finally time for me to take my life back and restart my college career. As a first-generation university student who comes from a low-income household, my ability to attain a university education at a posh private school like Baylor was always a miracle — my family could never afford to pay my meal plan, much less Baylor's tuition. Thus, when I found out that all my financial aid remained intact despite having taken a gap year, I knew that I had no other choice but to seize the moment and finish what I had started while the door remained open. To be honest, at the time I decided to go back to university, I did not feel ready. I was scared. But more than that, I knew I had no other choice. Looking back on my decision, however, I could not be happier with choice I made. Since being back at university, I have had the opportunity to make meaningful connections with incredibly interesting people - both students and industry professionals.

Going into the 2022-2023 academic year, I took a leap of faith: I didn't know if I would be able to cope with the social and academic pressures of university life after all that had happened; I was less secure in my ability to manage my physically health. Nevertheless, I've been blessed with the most academically, socially, and professionally fruitful months of my life, thus far. By re-entering university, I was wading into uncertain waters without a life vest. It was not the smart decision; I was weak and unprepared. But, I had faith that God would lead me according to His will as I embraced the challenge He set before me. I hope to be a light for others who feel called to take a leap of faith, that they may recognize in my story God's good will for their own life and trust that He loves them.

Jumpstarting my university education has been the most challenging feat I've ever set out to accomplish. My experience thus far has been rewarding, but by no means easy. There are days when I want to crawl under my blankets and disappear; there days when I am the happiest person on earth. As for now, I believe I just might make it out alive.

Looking back on it all

Looking back on the past two years of my life, I believe that the most important realization I have had is that life is difficult, but simple. Everyone wants to be happy and realize some sense of fulfillment, and I believe the surest way to achieve these goals is to dedicate yourself to a labor of love to the effect of making someone else's life brighter. This is one of the reasons why I believe software development is the closest thing we have to magic - from nothing, I can create a working product that fulfills/optimizes some need in another person's life, making the world a better place, even marginally. I am reluctant to claim that suffering is a prerequisite to "enlightenment", but in the case that it is, take my word for it and pursue something you love; direct your passions to helping someone else. Life is short, and we exist to serve.